I Choose To Write

I Choose To Write | AI Generated Image

When I first started writing, it felt like screaming into the void. Silence.

I tried everything: different topics, images, videos, quotes... etc. Nothing worked.

I was ready to give up. Then nothing changed. There was no turnaround, no light at the end of the tunnel, no win after a lot of hard work.

There was less of the same.

I tried different platforms, I followed many expert content creators, and emulated their methods, followed their advice, applied their secret formulas.

NOTHING WORKED.

So I gave up.

I gave up on winning the content game. I gave up on becoming a content creator. And I gave up on getting the numbers.

I was tired. I was frustrated.

But then I discovered something: I still wanted to write.

I enjoy writing.

The problem is when I think of myself as a content creator, and I think of what I'm doing as creating content, I feel it's a means to an end, to become an influencer, someone with a lot of followers, someone who gets a lot of engagement.

I was convinced that once I achieve my goal, then I will get to enjoy what I do, because I will have the numbers that will make if worth while.

I have turned the thing I enjoy the most to a chore.

And it became daunting, exhausting, devoid of any feeling of joy or fun.

So when I gave up, I was free from that burden, and I could focus on doing what love and enjoy now.

I didn't have to wait any more till that one day when I have enough people listening to me or engaging with my writing to enjoy the act of writing.

The writing was enough.

I stopped caring whether someone was there to read, engage, follow, or repost.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm human.

Of course I love it when people engage, share, repost, and I sure want more doing that all the time.

But the more I wrote the more joy I got. I was expressing my ideas, I was shaping them, and I was putting them out there, so I can create space for the next idea.

It was a lot of fun, and I also mastered the skill of catching myself obsessing about numbers, engagement, and reach.

But instead of treating it like it was good or bad, I engage with it for a while. I check on the posts, I read the comments, and see the performance. Let myself feel what I need to feel: happy to achieve certain goals, or sad for missing those goals.

But then I get back to writing.

Put simply, I learned to anchor myself in what mattered most for me in this process: the act of writing.

And I also gave myself the space to indulge in being human, pursuing vanity, chasing clicks, and watching the numbers.

Some posts do well, so I keep writing.

Most do poorly, so I keep writing.

A few do great, so I keep writing.

I choose to be writer, I choose to write.

Ask yourself who do you choose to be, and what do you choose to do.

Be it. Do it. Enjoy it.

The rest is up to the world.